she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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