Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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