It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
