Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
