i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
