community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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