taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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