Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
