So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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