allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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