now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
