Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
