i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
