Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Randomize
