dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
