I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
