My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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