I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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