I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
