when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
