U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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