I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
