I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
