Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
