Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
