I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
