Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
