I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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