can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
