If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
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