I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
