I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
