I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
