Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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