Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
as a side note pls kill me
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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