and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
