Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
