Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
