Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
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