I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
