Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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