You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Randomize
