Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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