Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
