yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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