meet me or not, i'm out of control
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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