You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
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