Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Small penises have feelings too.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
