TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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