David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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