In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Found the puke drawer
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You ate ashes out of my bong
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
