I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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