I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
